You don't have your own ideas
We're a creative company with creative products addressing a creative market. Triple the reason to be amazingly relevant with powerful ideas that you know how to pull off.
You're not a student
If marketing people aren't voraciously consuming, internalizing and changing their skills they've already given up.
You're used to other people doing it
Everyone and no one is doing the work in huge companies. If you haven't owned it, you can't know how to do it or be smart about it.
You have no influence
If they can't influence me in their resume or interview, how can I expect them to influence the market?
You can't write
Writing is making ideas clear for everyone. Good writers are good marketers.
You're scared of change
Marketers' jobs are to change the market. You can't be a good marketer if you can't stand change.
You can't say no
Have an opinion. Stand up for yourself. Don't just accept what I say.
You can't see what needs to happen
Take a step back. Are you spending your time on things that will make (the right) impact? What is required down the road? Don't drive while contemplating the inside of the car.
You don't believe
We have a fantastic product. It changes the way people work with each other. If you can't fall in love with that and market from the heart, we don't need you on our team.
You're a good multi-tasker
That's right, I don't want someone that's awesome at keeping 300 things going. People who chase everything get nothing done. I want someone that kicks ass on one thing and then moves on.

Comments
This post has 9 comments. We encourage you to please post your own!
Martin Olsson
Aug 16, 2007 at 11:47:55 PM
Great anti job-description. Almost makes me want to apply.
Jason Rushin
Aug 18, 2007 at 10:49:55 PM
Wait a minute... You just described 90% of the people I've ever worked with. How do you expect to find someone like this?
Your points should be gospel for HR people everywhere, regardless of the role they are trying to fill.
Rich
Aug 20, 2007 at 3:43:53 PM
I want to hire people who state their ideas using positive language
Don Jamaica
Aug 23, 2007 at 11:33:35 AM
Bill Hicks would be...proud?
Kirk
Aug 24, 2007 at 12:49:36 AM
Well, it's always interesting to hear what people think about marketing people. With this much insight into what you don't want it sounds like you're the best marketing person in your company. Maybe you should be doing the marketing and should get someone else to do your job.
Ex-Market Development, Product Marketing, Business Development and General Marketing person who now lives in Hawaii and is thinking about moving back to the BA. I guess I should just stay put.
Kirk
Bob
Aug 24, 2007 at 7:12:22 AM
I found your list entertaining but the proof is in the pudding. Have you taken a
critical look at YOUR website? While the homepage is pretty good about telling me what
you do, when I look at the Openfire page I find "For companies looking for the leading
XMPP-based RTC server". HUH???? What the hell does that mean? The marketing person
who wrote or approved that page should be fired because he/she does NOT know who their
buyers are. Your criteria for hiring marketing people should include that they know
the basics of marketing - who we are, what we do, why you should care, etc. And, that
they know how to write for all the buying influences, the Economic Buyer, the Technical
Buyer and the User Buyer.
Thanks for listening,
Bob
PS, I was set to buy Clearspace until I found this blog and am using it. How can you
have an app of this sort that doesn't do automatic line feeds?
Patrick
Oct 10, 2007 at 1:08:14 PM
Not sure if I should comment, having applied to your firm, but here goes anyway.
First, always and never (like the title of your posting) are not marketing words at all. They are for people who are content with the way things have always been done; people who don't take risks. There's no place for that in marketing. I'd rather implement a bad tactic and revisit it than do nothing because I was paralyzed by the fear that it wouldn't be perfect.
Second, brand is important. Many, many companies succeed with mediocre products because of the strength of their brand. Think of GE, Honeywell, and Ford -- no one would say that their whole portfolio consists of kick-butt products, but customers are comfortable buying them because of brand. Brand is a component of the overall message and helps sell the organization while your USPs sell the product. Hell yes the word is misused, but that doesn't make it a bad thing.
Third, you are totally right about knowing markets. Research is a component of that, but nothing substitutes for being close to the customer. Keeping marketing locked in a room at the factory just assures that products won't meet real customer needs and won't be successful.
Last, many would treasure a role where they could focus on just one thing and be successful. But that's not the way business is. Multitasking isn't a bad thing, but it devolves into schizophrenia without a clear understanding of priority. When smart folks know what's important, they'll work on the right things at the right times.
And, in case you can't tell, I have no problem telling others how I feel. Hey, that's an obligation of a professional employee, in marketing or any where else. If an organization has a culture that stifles respectful disagreement, then it's neither a healthy organization nor a productive work environment.
Mark
Mar 5, 2008 at 11:52:25 PM
Shit man...I'm 15 years deep into my career in marketing...live in Las Vegas with my wife and two young kids...started my own agency and grew it from a 1 person, 1 client, $1,000 a month start-up to a nearly $5 million a year company...but give me a couch to sleep on and some lunch money and I'll work for you for 60 days free of charge. I don't know that I fully understand what it means to be a Jiver...but let's find out...
Cynthia
Mar 22, 2008 at 8:06:36 PM
Your thought in posting this was probably to engage in conversation exchange...maybe? But have you considered the damage and negative PR you've created as an unintended consequence for posting lists like this one?
I would like to think that most professionals out there who are hiring for a Director level position (or any position within their company for that matter) could do so with grace, poise and professionalism, rather than posting a list of all the qualities you don't want in a person. Do you honestly think that will make people WNAT to apply AND work for you?
Your HR ads are full of arrogance. Try a little more information on what your firm is about, the qualities you are seeking, WHY Jive Software is a great place to work , write it in compelling language, and place another ad for the Director position.
Just a suggestion.